Silver Smile
by Shadowivy-Returns
Summary: fem slash
1. Default Chapter

Please review, please please please! Silence. Then eyes glare icily as she whips out dagger and presses the cold blade to reader's throat. "It wasn't really a request."

Eowyn's Point of View (referred to as POV from now on)

My heart leapt in my chest as I saw Aragorn returning from his journey, my eyes only for him, I noticed not the slight figure astride him. An imposing figure even afar, his wavy hair flowing behind him, his horse seeming an extension of himself. Too late I noticed a figure behind him, her arms wrapped around his waist, her body pressed into him. "Open the gates!" the call came from below. As he rode into the city I saw a silver glint against his tunic. The necklace. So this was his love. I brushed my fingers over my cheek. No tears would come.

"Eoywn", Aragorn cries out as he strides into the hall, picking me up and enfolding me in a bear hug before I have time to respond. I can feel his warm body pressed tight against me, the rough fabric of his tunic pulling at my breast. Not breathing I run my fingers through his long hair. He was back. Then setting me gently down and smiling like a small child, he announced proudly. "I'd like you to meet Arwen, my wife" I felt as though I'd been punched in the stomach, hard. "Your wife?" I breathed softly. His brow creased in consternation. "Well, no", but then smiling, finished "but soon to be so". From behind him, walked forward the most breathtaking elf I had ever seen. "Pleased to meet you, lady", I mumbled, extending a stiff hand. Ignoring decorum she embraced me and swiftly kissed both of my cheeks. "Greetings, sister", she said warmly. Damn her. I couldn't hate her. She had everything I had ever wanted, Aragorn. And yet I couldn't dislike her, her kind manner and quick smile. "I'm sure you'll be comfortable here, I'll have a room made ready", I said swiftly.

Later I walked the ramparts. Aragorn to be married, I felt that my hopes were forever shattered and shaken out to the four winds. Why had she not gone to the ends of the earth with her people? I knew the answer and could not blame her. Who would leave him? I parted the folds of my skirt concealing my sword and set about performing my daily exercises. "You fight well, milady", came a sweet voice from behind me. I was so startled as to nearly drop my weapon. Her silken garb was beautiful but the impracticality of it made me feel contempt for the soft maiden. "Here women have need to fight." Her smile at my comment told me she knew the motives behind it, and I blushed in shame. She swept back her long cloak to reveal a blade similar to my own. "It is also with my people."

I know not what came over me but I found myself spilling out all of my worries and fears and frustrations to her willing ear. "I wish to fight!" I said passionately, "I see not how people can just stand by and let these things come to pass!" "I know the feelings of which you speak, but no longer do they trouble me as greatly." "How can this be?" "I had my fill of battle long ago, when the fate of nations could still be shaped by blade alone, and had not to trust to destiny to bring about their ends." I looked at her perplexed. "And what if destiny calls me to fight?" I asked hopelessly. "Then fight and care not for tomorrow, accept your destiny or change it, but either course you take you will find yourself with the opportunity to change yourself and all that is around you." A bell rang. "Time to eat, and be a proper lady again", I sighed, tucking the sword once more beneath my skirts. "and to smile and banter politely whilst the men are enduring bloodshed." She replied, and with a wicked smile she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Arwen's POV

I stared across the table at the pale headstrong woman. She loved my Aragorn. Little did she know of his...tastes. Yes, he loves me, and yet. We elves understand love of many at the same time. I love Aragorn more than life itself, but Legolas, Legolas I cannot bear. I walk to our shared room and see them lying there together. Jealousy I do not feel, only an empty feeling, alone.

I could not stand the cold feeling reflected on my face. An impassive mask hid my emotions. I want not to be stone; I want my love to light up my face such as it shone long ago. I slipped unnoticed past the slouching guards, stealing away into the forest. I softly murmured an entreaty as I walked. "Mother Night, embrace me now in your warm darkness, shelter me from the cold certainty of the light."

I felt a presence behind me. I spun my sword from its sheath and brought it against the neck of my pursuer in one fluid movement. Only to find it blocked by cold steel. "Milady", a cool voice said, its owner stepping back a pace.

"Eoywn, why have you come?"

"You are not the only one waking in the small hours. I have as much reason to wander as thee."

A twig snapped in the distance. "We are not the only ones seeking solace in the dark, come let us find a more sheltered viewpoint." She nodded in reply to my suggestion and we moved further into the forest. I glanced over at her fair skin shining in the moonlight, her pale gold hair afire. I watched in awe at her grace as she moved, her footsteps placed with care, elflike.

"What drives thee to wander out from the shelter of your castle?"

"I have my own reasons."

"What are they?"

"You."

I stared at her for a moment, shocked out of my brooding mood.

"What?"

Eoywn look discomfited at my reaction. I was not upset, merely caught off guard. However, what ever she interpreted my response to mean, she turned bright red and mumbled something about safety.

"I saw someone walking.....it was dark...thought best to follow....realized was you....worried"

I had regained my composure and looked at her quizzically. She continued to make excuses until I placed a finger to her lips.

"I want to know why you followed me"

Her eyes blazed.

"I already told you! How dare you accuse me of lying-"

Her indignant protests were cut off as I leaned in towards her and took her face in my hands. She closed her eyes and leaned forward, expectant. I did nothing. Her eyes opened after a time, hurt and angry for being tricked in such a fashion. "I believe I know why you followed." I said slowly. "Am I right in my assumption that Aragorn is not the only one for whom you care?" She seemed to fear a trap for she at once fell back and professed innocence of trying to take Aragorn from me. "I know. You have too much honor for that. And Aragorn loves you too much as a sister, myself too much as a wife, and Legolas too much as a lover to shame us all so."

Eoywn's beautiful face fell and I felt guilt at my harsh words. I would not take them back though; she needed to know. "Legolas?", she questioned, her face so wide an open. I nodded. She moved forward and embraced me as a sister. "I am so sorry. I wish you all of his love, truly." I was shocked. I had expected to comfort her, not to find myself an object of pity. I leaned forward into her arms. God's, it felt so good just to be held; held by someone who cares.

The footsteps in the distance had moved closer. We both took to the trees, I climbing up first, and pulling her into my arms a moment later. We curled up in silence, hardly daring to breathe. I could feel her heartbeat fast, in time with my own. Guards passed underneath. We both let out sighs of relief. "Only the night watch" she whispered in my ear. We looked into each other's eyes and seemed to realize the impropriety of the situation, were we to be found wrapped in each other hiding in a tree.

She inquired where I was to say and I responded that I would stay in the forest for the night, not wanting to return to the dreary crowded solitude of my shared rooms. She offered me a share in her room and after much resistance on my part I agreed. We walked swiftly to her rooms as the night lightened.

Arwen's POV

In her rooms she pulled the sheets back on her bed. I slipped in and was beginning to fall asleep when I observed her setting out a bed for herself on her couch. Balking at her actions, I gently grasped her wrist and pulled her towards me. She came willingly to the bedside, slipping softly under the thick blankets. I shifted closer to her and she stiffened. Whispering elvish sayings softly into her ear I pulled her towards me, my fingers gently caressed her wrist, bringing it to my mouth. I kissed her hand softly, and in the common tongue said "Thank you"

Eoywn's POV


	3. Chapter 3

Arwen's POV

In her rooms she pulled the sheets back on her bed. I slipped in and was beginning to fall asleep when I observed her setting out a bed for herself on her couch. Balking at her actions, I gently grasped her wrist and pulled her towards me. She came willingly to the bedside, slipping softly under the thick blankets. I shifted closer to her and she stiffened. Whispering elvish sayings softly into her ear I pulled her towards me, my fingers gently caressed her wrist, bringing it to my mouth. I kissed her hand softly, and in the common tongue said "Thank you"

Eoywn's POV

I stayed still and unmoving as she pressed against me, my wrist still in her grasp. Was she doing what I thought? As her gentle mouth trailed kisses over my hand all doubt as to her intentions was erased from my mind. Why was she doing this? I saw her eyes filled with unabashed lust. I was surprised to find myself reciprocating her feelings. I don't like girls I don't like girls! Damn, I could drown in her eyes, and enjoy it as I sank down. Forget everything, everything except the moment.

"Thank me for what?"

"For caring."

With that statement Arwen turned over and curled against me, fell asleep.

I lay quiet long after her breathing had assured me she was truly slumbering. What were these feelings for her? I had scarcely known her for a day and yet she captivated me. Aragorn, yes I still loved him, but he was with Legolas and Arwen was alone, here, with me. I have loved before, even felt lust, but Arwen entranced me. Why should I expect her to reciprocate these feelings? Her eyes? But the kiss, meant nothing. She kissed my hand and thanked me for my friendship; perhaps it was a custom among her people. I was agony to be unsure, to be so close and know you can not move towards them for fear of losing their fragile regard for you. I finally relaxed, sinking into her soft skin as I too fell victim to fatigue.

I awoke to find the elfin princess gazing into my eyes. My hand rose to her face, cupping her chin and bringing her lips to mine. Our tongues entwined and we wrapped our arms around each other, her nails raking down my back. I moaned into her mouth pulling her closer. We parted regretfully and quickly began tearing at our nightdresses. Suddenly she stopped my frantic untying of strings and took over for me. Slowly, she tantalized me by gently unlacing my nightgown, pausing and eyes sparkling she smirked at me as she reached the laces that crossed my breast. She quickly unlaced them and slowly kneaded one nipple, then taking in her mouth. I gasped as her warm mouth enclosed on me, suckling gently. I felt a rush of moisture between my legs and wanted only to toss her on her back and possess her harshly. Gods she was beautiful. Her dark hair fell to frame her face as she ran her tongue over my stomach. I wanted her harder, faster. I couldn't stand it and I placed her other hand between my thighs. Her touch was so soft; her pale long fingers soon had me in ecstasies. I leaned in for another long kiss, whispering her name over and over as I bucked my hips under her light touch. She perceived my mood and moved faster inside me. I crashed over the edge screaming her name. And I awoke.

Embarrassed by my dream I awoke to her looking at me.

"Were you having a nightmare?"

"What?" still groggy at returning to awareness and disappointed that it had only been a fantasy I looked at her.

"Your dream must have been horrible for you to be writhing so." Her words seemed somehow mocking and I felt a blush rise to my face. She leaned close to me and whispered, "I heard you screaming my name," Blushing further I lowered my head. "and I didn't mind it" she finished. I looked at her in embarrassment and then, in hope.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Eoywn's POV

I did not know how to look at her that morning. She got dressed calmly, myself studiously attempting to avoid gazing at her unclothed form. Curiosity won out. My fantasy had been correct; she was every bit as luscious as I had dreamed. Quickly dropping my gaze before she noticed, I returned to my readying. Soon we were both dressed and heading to the hall. My Uncle sat on the throne, seemingly shrunken in his great furs. Aragorn continued to rail at him for not protecting the land. Anger blazed in my uncle's eyes but he remained silent. He knew the ranger was right. I studied Aragorn by light of day. Rugged and beautiful still but I felt myself notice for the first time Legolas' glances toward him, making excuses to touch, to be near each other.

As we sat for lunch the elf whispered something in Aragorn's ear. The future king of Gondor shook his head in dissent although it seemed to take a great act of will to do so. Théoden and Gandalf were engaged in a discussion and Arwen was looking intently at the silverware. I continued to watch the pair in awe as Legolas repeated the phrase again and licked Aragorn's earlobe. Eyes mischievous, Aragorn rose and apologized for having to leave but there was an urgent situation he had forgotten on the walls. The elf merely smiled. They left the room together, almost racing for the doors. How could I have been so blind?

The elfin princess had now progressed from studying the silverware to the edge of the plates. There was nothing special about them to hold her attention so. I finally caught her gaze and saw stark pain in her eyes. How someone could hurt and not show it in her visage amazed me. To her evident surprise I suggested we take a walk. We left the hall and walked into the forest. Never gifted at being subtle I stopped and bluntly said, "How do you feel about me?"

"I do not understand your question"

"Lady Arwen..." a glare on her part made me drop the title. I continued: "Arwen, I need to know in what manner you look upon me."

"I cannot think of words to fully explain it."

"On the contrary", I argued, "I think you know very well how to phrase it."

"Words do not suffice"

I looked at her for a long moment and then my eyes widened in shock and she swiftly moved forward and placed her hands on my face, drawing me to her. The kiss was cut short as I backed away from her, putting my hands in between us. The passion and love in Arwen's face disappeared. I had betrayed her, lured her into thinking I cared for her. This was a hurt I could never undo. She shoved me further away from her, even as I was scrambling backwards.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" She yelled.

Subdued, I mumbled, "I don't know"

My head down, I finished lamely, "I don't like girls"

"You could have fooled me!" With that parting shot she left. Disappearing into the forest. Even through my despair and shame I found her movements graceful, each step perfectly economizing the stress put on it, I could watch her for hours.

I cleared my head of such thoughts. What had I done? I wanted to keep her as a friend, and surely that would not be possible if I became her lover. Why was I thinking this? I don't like her that way. Images of the object of my despair sprang unbidden to mind. Apparently my body and my will disagreed. I wanted her as a friend. Part of me wished to run after her and beg her for forgiveness. She can never love me after this. Aragorn, she loves Aragorn. She does not care for me. I wandered through the forest in ever deepening sorrow. Random bits of sadness and insanity laced through my mind.

"I can walk here and pretend for all eternity that I'm not miserable and that I don't hate myself most of all, but then again I relish this for I love everyone who ever has hurt me. Yes, the person I truly love has hurt me more than anything in the world. I want to go away. I want to die. I want to kill. I want me and no one else to intrude upon my miserable solitude, and why can't I just have the courage to end it all. You and your fucking martyr syndrome, you think it would be better and I'd be happy, after all I'm a machoistic little bitch. Smile smile, the more you hurt the happier you are, you will never get better because I don't want to. I revel in society's idea of me. My misery is my only companion. No one wants me. I'm numb and no one even fucking notices, shouldn't they notice my misery. Shut up. Why would they, why should anyone ever care about a sniveling miserable piece of shit like you, who has no worth and no one cares about. The greatest love stems from pain. I was not made for love, I was made for suffering. Savoring my misery and the misery it causes in turn is the only thing I live for. There's nothing else, no one to love me besides a casual companionship. Here is the root of the problem, how ever many times I tell myself I don't care, it still hurts, everything hurts. I want everything to go away. Why can't I go away and get a new chance, after all that's suicide. Go the fuck away .why do I feel the need to validate my existence by putting my pain in coherent words and thoughts? Perhaps once I bleed dry I will feel better. No, I'd prefer some pain, the endless hurt, to having this numb nothing that is myself. Yes, now I'm sure. Nothing is wrong nothing is wrong. I hate being questioned, even by myself. I like to be alone. My grief, I want to go away, after all that's what is at my waist, a knife, my knife, and nothingness nothingness nothingness. Arwen has not found me yet; no one had searched me out. I am sure it is not because she doesn't care. She knows. So at least Arwen understands my pain. She knows I like to be alone in my grief. Why does the one person who if they went away it would fix everything, (and yes it would fix everything,). Knife, and fire, burn pain and goddess. No I won't ask for help now. Goddess won't stop me because she knows in a way this is another chance for me, no one will. But how would my uncle and those who care for me suffer if I do this? Gods, do I love the wrong person? No no no no, I love her because of the pain, not despite of it...being upset feels powerful, my emotions must build up walls, I want to live in the past entirely, I want to have no one, but I'm so needy and I hate it."

My self-contained rant ended when I could no longer see where I was through my tears. I sat down and wept. Perhaps I seem weak in doing this, but these emotions were a long time in coming. The war was on and there was nothing I could do, the futility of my position, Aragorn could never be mine, even against morals of being married he could not be mine for he had a lover, my king would not fight, and now this. Arwen was the perfect golden piece that tipped the scale and broke the dam of my emotions. It was dark when I looked up. How long I had been absorbed in my thoughts and tears I did not know, but I found I was lost, both in spirit and in body. I knew not where I was and at that moment did not care. I lay my head upon my arms and slept.


	5. Chapter 5

5

Awaking in the grey of near dawn I found myself covered in a cloak, my head resting on a pillow of some sort. A soft whisper in my ear, the voice of my dreams called me, "Awake." I hadn't the energy to start. Merely turning my head until she appeared in my line of vision. "Why did you come back?"

"I sought to find you before your uncle. He near turned out the entire household when you did not return last night. They are still searching."

"How did you find me?"

"I will always be able to find you."

"How can that be?"

"I will feel your presence, no matter how far you wander."

"Why did you come back? I insulted you."

"Yes, you did."

"I am so sorry, Arwen."

"I know."

"Can you forgive me?" my voice pleading. I could not bear it if she said no.

"No. Your actions and words cannot be taken back. But I still love you."

"Love?", the word trembled on my lips.

"Always."

I clung to her then, knowing I would never have to let go.

Hounds bayed in the distance.

"Come up quickly, do you wish your Uncle to see you thus?"

"I'm not ashamed of us."

"And I never will be, but there are appearances to be kept up. We are nobility, we do not have the luxury of marrying for love."

"You did."

"Yes, and I love him still, although it is not my place to be with him."

"What is my place in all of this?"

"You, you are everything."

I stood then and waited with her by my side to face the dawn.

My Uncle took one look at my disheveled state and embraced me without reproach or question. After disentangling myself from the worried inquiries of friends and servants I hurried to Arwen's rooms. They were occupied. As I drew closer I saw Legolas storm out, slamming the door. Embarrassed to witness a scene between lovers I sought to hide behind a nearby tapestry. Legolas spotted me first. He spared me a scornful glance then stomped off. I pressed my ear against the door, my face turning various colors of red, as I comprehended the subject matter of the conversation. It was necessary for Arwen to produce Aragorn an heir, but as matters stood between them, it was nigh impossible. Each felt for each other only friendship, and Aragorn feared losing his lover over the matter. They let the matter lie for tonight, but I knew it could not be put off for forever. This time hiding in advance, I remained unnoticed by Aragorn as he walked past, most likely in hopes of placating Legolas' wounded pride. Arwen however turned instantly towards me.

"Damned elvish senses", I muttered under my breath.

Horrified at being caught eavesdropping I began to explain when she ushered me inside her apartments. The rooms were distinctly the ranger's with Legolas' small touches of whimsy present in the silk pillows and intricately carved chairs; of Arwen, I saw nothing. Small wonder, for she had spent almost every night so far with me.

"My husband", she intoned harshly, making the words compassionate and yet mocking all at once, "will not be back this night, nor likely the next. He has decided to stay with Legolas." At the pronouncement of this name there was definite menace in her tone.

"You needed to talk to me?"

"Yes. I wanted to say thank you again." Her face curved into a mischievous smile at my simple words.

"Is that all?"

"No. I wanted to say that I love you and will want to be with you always."

"Is that all?"

At a loss I replied, "What else can you want me to do?"

She leaned towards me and I was lost in her dark eyes, as she looked into my own.

"Stay. Tonight, and every night."


End file.
